The Ironman Ballad

• Posted onjofrancis
• in thetrilifereporters
• onJune 20, 2016
• No Comments.

Courtesy of Laura Winder – #thetrilifereporter – month 4

To be sung to the tune of “Eye of the Tiger”

Risin’ up

From my warm bed

It’s like torture I tell you

What’m I doing gettin’ up at this time

When the rest of the world is asleep

Glancing back

Boyfriend is warm

Snuggled up under duvet

I’m ambivalent I’m totally torn

I must fight just to walk out the door

It’s the

Fight of the Ironman

That we do every day

It’s the voice that says “hit that old snooze button”

It’s the fight against laziness

The battle with sloth

And I find myself cursing the liiiiiiiiiife

Of the Ironman

At the lake

Ice underfoot

Crunchy steps, frozen tootsies

Smell of neoprene and puffing of breath

As I struggle to pull up my suit

Goggles on

Jumpin’ straight in

Takes my breath, sucks my courage

Another minute and the water feels warm

And I’m swimmin’ and grinnin’ with pride

It’s the

Swim of the Ironman

It’s the thrill of the dive

Into deep, scummy, swan-infested waters

And we down coke to kill the bugs and keep us alive

To emerge from the lake and surviiiiiiiive

For the Ironman

On the bike

Quads burning deep

Sweating loads, feeling hungry

Chomp a Powerbar and pee on myself

This is tough, this is nasty, it’s hell

Reach the top

Gasping for air

So damn ripe for the downhill

I’m going aero now I’m pullin’ away

This is life and I’m lovin’ the ride

It’s the

Bike of the Ironman

And it’s only the brave

Who can take saddle soreness and keep smilin’

And the hard core are pushing though, they’re suckin’ it up

Cos the miles and the pain are the caaaaaaallll

Of the Ironman

On the run

Rubbery legs

Muscles ache, joints are screaming

Skinny b*stard laps me I’m so darn slow

I must fight just to stay in the race

Second lap

I’m going to win

Like I’ve always been dreamin’

The crowds are cheering and I high five the kids

One more mile to the finishin’ line

It’s the

Run of the Ironman

And the day’s turned to night

And I’m fighting to beat that old broom wagon

And it’s mine for the taking and I know I’m all right

Cross the line, medal’s mine, feeling fiiiiiiiine
I’m an Ironman